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It’s summer time! Kids are out of school and the beach is calling. Without the rush of parent teacher conferences, after school activities, and whatever else comes with the busyness of August through May, it’s time to take a break. Summer offers a natural opportunity to slow down and reconnect. Even without kids, we tend to look at summer as a chance to kick back and relax. With the sunshine calling you outside, take that as your cue to get out of autopilot and shift to focusing on your marriage this summer. I’ve deemed it “The Summer of Love”.
It’s a fun, intentional way to reignite emotional, physical, and spiritual intimacy before the busy fall season rolls in. Here are 4 ways to help you cultivate that connection—like two young people falling into a summer fling all over again.
Prioritize Uninterrupted Time Together
When life gets busy, those closest to us are the first to suffer (outside of ourselves). We put off date night, trying to squeeze in that last task, errand, or social engagement. While some things we take on aren’t bad, they aren’t necessarily feeding our marriage either. For this Summer of Love, work on prioritizing your time together, uninterrupted. This can look like so many different ways depending on what you and your spouse enjoy.
First, get rid of the phones. Whenever you’re prioritizing each other, put those phones away. Turn it on airplane mode, do not disturb, or leave it in another room. Maybe you get one of those phone boxes that stay locked for a period of time. I’m super guilty of this, even when we’re just watching a TV show. I’ll play a mindless game on my phone or quickly check a message from a friend. I think it’s no big deal but when Michael does it… whoo buddy. I’m annoyed! Maybe I should take my own advice and get a lock box!
This can look different depending on what you and your spouse enjoy. Have a picnic (yes, Lunchables totally count), go for a walk, or enjoy a morning coffee together. Bonus points if you add in prayer or a devotional. The goal isn’t productivity—it’s connection.
While reading over this, Michael reminded me that so many of our conversations, even in our uninterrupted time together, can be transactional. Talking about the things we need to finish on our to-do list, what the kids need, and what we’re having for dinner isn’t building emotional intimacy. If you find yourself in that same boat, you really need to focus during your time with your spouse. Don’t make it another budget meeting, truly connect and talk about things you don’t usually make the space to talk about. We have a 7-Day challenge called Gathering Wood: Making Time for Meaningful Connection that could help you get out of that business partnership and back to the love connection.
Whatever you choose to do, your emotional connection can only get better with the intention and time devoted to it.
Initiate Physical Affection Daily
Out of emotional closeness, the desire to be physically close should grow. I know if I’ve been chatting with Michael about things close to my heart, I also want him to be close to me. I say that as someone who doesn’t naturally lean towards physical touch.
Physical intimacy isn’t just about sex. Non-sexual touch, like holding hands, hugging, or snuggling, builds emotional safety and connection. It says, “I’m here, I care, and I enjoy being near you.” These everyday moments of affection create trust and closeness without any expectations. Sexual connection, on the other hand, is a deeper expression of intimacy that involves passion, vulnerability, and sacred oneness within marriage. It’s not just physical—it’s emotional and spiritual, too.
Touch can be a touchy subject for some people, no pun intended. If you’re looking to dip your toes in a little first, that’s ok. Start small with simply touching your spouse when they’re near, holding hands in the car, and seeking out opportunities to be close. You might enjoy our Fan the Flame: Growing Closer Through Physical Touch (no sex required)—a gentle way to grow closer physically.
Or if you’re ready to go all in, try something like the One Week Sex Challenge featured on the One Extraordinary Marriage podcast—7 days of intimacy to spark new passion. That’s definitely a big way to kick off the Summer of Love!
Either way, physical touch is so important to a healthy marriage. When couples value both kinds of touch, they nurture a rhythm of affection that strengthens their bond on every level. One fuels the other, creating a cycle of connection that deepens over time.
Speak Life Over Each Other
This weekend at church, Pastor Greg Surratt spoke about the messiness of marriage, but gave us some great ways to make our messy marriages better. One of the tips was to speak life to your spouse, not just the truth. We think our spouse should be able to handle our truth, every word that comes to our mind. But let’s be real, not everything is helpful and not everything needs to be said. (I wrote about that in our 13 Years, 13 Lessons post.) Your words carry weight and should be used to build up and encourage your spouse, even when you feel like it’s not earned.
Proverbs 18:21 tells us that “The tongue has the power of life and death…” Are your words breathing life into your spouse and your marriage, or are they cutting away at the foundation of trust and connection?
Wives, consider this– your husband will live up to the man you call out in him. Are you telling him he is loved, appreciated, and handsome? Or are you telling him he never does things right? That he isn’t enough? Men desire respect, especially from their wives. You have the opportunity to call out greatness in your husband just by using your words. Lift him up.
Husbands, you’re not off the hook. How do you speak to your wife? Are you encouraging? Cherishing her? Your words carry deep weight. Let them remind your wife she is cherished and essential to the man you are.
“Encourage one another and build each other up.”– 1 Thessalonians 5:11
So consider, what is one life-giving thing you can say to your spouse today?
Pursue God Together
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again– Pray for your spouse. Pastor Greg Surratt shared a powerful framework using Philippians 1:9–10 for how he prays for his wife. He said,
- Pray that he/she will grow in love- “This is my prayer: that you love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight”
- Pray that he/she will make wise choices- “…so that you may be able to discern what is best…”
- Pray that he/she will live with integrity- “…and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ…”
- Pray that he/she will become like Jesus- “…filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ- to the glory and praise of God.”
If you’re not ready to pray with your spouse, at least pray for them.
Start a devotional together. Try out our FREE 7 day devotional download to improve your prayer time with one another or one check out one of the many amazing options on the YouVersion app. Michael and I have had some great conversations while working through a devotional together.
I’ll leave you with this– one of the most intimate and vulnerable things you can do with your spouse is pray with them. Give it a shot.
Your Summer of Love Starts Here
I feel like I’m a broken record with this but really, Intimacy doesn’t require grand gestures—just small, consistent choices made with love. With 8 to 12 weeks of summer ahead, you don’t have to do it all at once. Just start somewhere.
This week, I’m focusing on praying more intentionally for Michael. What will you start with?
Can’t wait to see where we are at summer’s end.
Enjoy the Adventure,
Amanda
The Making of Marriage 
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