The Making of Marriage

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The long, hot days of the Summer of Love are fading out and we’re ushering in Autumn of Affection. As we welcome fall, it’s the perfect time to focus on harvesting connection. Crisp air, golden leaves, cozy nights — fall practically begs us to slow down, snuggle close, and fall in love with our spouse all over again. Just like the seasons shift, so do relationships. And sometimes, that shift calls for a reset.

The seasons remind us that change is natural—and necessary. Just as the air turns crisp and the leaves shift colors, our relationships go through their own seasons too. Some are light and easy, others feel heavy or dry, and sometimes we need to intentionally reset and realign.

Maybe this summer felt busy and disconnected, or maybe you simply want to refresh the good rhythm you already have. Either way, fall is a reminder that we can let go of what’s not serving us and plant new habits that grow stronger love for the season ahead.

If you’ve been following along on Instagram, you know a reset doesn’t require massive changes. It’s about small, intentional moments that add up to lasting connection. Here are 5 simple ways to reset your marriage as we head into fall.

Create New Rhythms Together

Rhythms are the heartbeat of daily life — and each season brings its own tempo. New seasons bring new rhythms, new obligations and schedule additions. Kids are back in school, fall sports are in full swing, and family gatherings are just around the corner with the holiday season approaching.

What does it look like to create a new rhythm?

First, make it non-negotiable. Protect your marriage like you protect the kids’ soccer games or your work meetings: add your marriage to the calendar. If it’s on the calendar, it’s sacred. No swapping it out for errands or last-minute plans. It is not a placeholder until “something better” comes along or your friends want to have a kid free night out. Once your time is on the calendar, it cannot be replaced with a different obligation. 

After that, pick an activity that fits your needs– time constraints, budget, childcare needs, etc. A weekly coffee date while the kids are in school. Choosing a night to watch your favorite show together. Taking a post-dinner walk every Thursday. Whatever the two of you love to do together, make it happen. Lighten the load on each of you by switching off who plans the topics of conversation or brings some sort of fun to each date. Simply use that time to check in with each other and invest in your marriage. 

Revisit Your Shared Vision

A shared vision is more than just thinking about that 5 acre plot of land with the porch swing and pen full of goats (though that sounds pretty amazing!). It’s about stepping back together and asking: Where are we heading as a couple, and what do we want this season of life to look like?

Fall is a perfect time for this reset because the rhythm naturally shifts — kids are back in school, work routines change, and the days get shorter. Instead of just drifting through, use this time to realign on what matters most.

This conversation doesn’t have to be heavy or intimidating. It can be:

• Lighthearted: What fun things do we want to do together this fall? Pumpkin patch? Game nights? A weekend road trip?
• Practical: What are our priorities for the next few months — finances, health goals, home projects?
• Spiritual/Relational: How do we want to grow together in faith, intimacy, or service to others?

The goal isn’t to map out your entire future in one night — it’s to pause, realign, and remember you’re building something together.

Make Space for Affection

Stress and busyness are affection’s biggest thieves. Before you know it, hand-holding and kitchen kisses get replaced by carpool runs and late-night emails. But affection doesn’t have to vanish just because life is full. In fact, the busier the season, the more we need it. Did you see today’s Reel on Instagram? It’s all about getting back to those little moments of affection. 

It’s been proven that moments of physical connection with your spouse are beneficial to your health! Physical contact can lower cortisol (stress hormones), reduce anxiety and depression, and improve blood pressure. Not only that, but it strengthens emotional bonds by creating a sense of closeness, safety, and affection. Simply cuddling on the couch with your spouse helps to release those happy hormones and take away those stress hormones.

Try it out! Start with today’s challenge on Instagram– give your spouse a squeeze or a kiss! Maybe you’d like to add it into your daily routine by starting your day with a kiss or holding hands in the car on the way to church. Check out our physical touch course, Fan the Flame, to get a hard reset and take an intentional step in your affection with your spouse. 

Plan a Seasonal Date

Tis’ the season! And by that I mean Pumpkin Spice Season.Imagine strolling a pumpkin patch hand in hand, sipping cider as you laugh over who picked the better pumpkin. All that to say– have yourself a merry little date night, fall style. Use the cozy vibes and spices as inspiration for a wonderful seasonal date. 

If pumpkin patches and corn mazes aren’t your thing, a cozy fire with apple fritters for dessert is another great option. Order a cozy cotton blanket, some pumpkin inspired mugs, and have a fun game night in. It doesn’t have to be expensive or complicated– it just has to be intentional! (I’m sure regular readers could finish that sentence by now.) 

Reset Spiritually Together

Last, but not least, invite God in. The best thing about this rhythm is that it can cost zero dollars and it will definitely have the biggest impact. I recently read that only 4% of couples who identify as Christian actually pray together regularly. If only 4% of Christian couples pray together, that means 96% are missing out on one of the simplest, most powerful resets a marriage could have. While that statistic is surprising, prayer is not the only way to reset spiritually and grow closer together with your faith as common ground. Simply sharing a scripture a day and reading that together can impact your relationship. The YouVersion Bible App has a daily Bible verse, a guided scripture video devotional, and guided prayer– all of which takes about 10 minutes to review. What if you started your day together simply by going through those pre-set app features? How could that impact your communication, emotional connection, and spiritual depth?

Couples who share spiritual beliefs often experience higher marital satisfaction, increased emotional intimacy, better conflict resolution, and greater resilience in the face of challenges. Prayer and scripture don’t just strengthen your faith — they soften your hearts toward each other. You’ll find you’re quicker to forgive, slower to snap, and more rooted in purpose.

Pray daily. Share scripture. Attend church. Find a small group. Grow spiritually together. Watch your communication improve and your connection thrive. You don’t have to do all of these things tomorrow, but explore what inviting God into your marriage daily would look like and then make it happen one step at a time. 

Time for a Harvest

Wherever your marriage is today — thriving, struggling, or somewhere in between — it can always grow deeper. Change doesn’t happen overnight, but small, steady steps create a harvest of love that lasts. This fall, don’t just let your marriage drift with the season. Choose one reset. Take one step. And watch how God can breathe fresh life into your love story.

If you’ve been following along with our September Spouse Challenge on Instagram, then hopefully you’re already seeing the impact that a few moments of intention can have on your heart and your marriage. Join the challenge with us. Choose one of 5 resets to focus on for the remainder of September. Watch how your marriage can flourish when you take the focus off of how you can thrive this fall and shift to making your marriage thrive this fall. 

Enjoy the adventure,

Amanda