The Making of Marriage

It has been a year since we moved out of our home and began an adventure. A year ago, we said goodbye to the house where we brought our babies home. A place that welcomed friends and family for birthdays and playdates. A home full of memories—of joy, pain, love, loss, and every emotion in between.

Since then, we’ve seen historic sites, waterfalls, trails, and so many campgrounds. We’ve settled in a new state and started putting down roots four hours away from family and longtime friends. And when you’re four hours away and everyone’s living their own lives, you start to realize how important it is to have a constant.

Through the ebbs and flows of this journey, that constant has been our marriage—emotionally, spiritually, physically.

Now that we’re finally settling into a new rhythm, I’ve been reflecting on this past year.
Not just how we’ve grown since leaving behind what was familiar—but how we simply made it through. How we stayed connected, even without our usual support system. How we found time for each other when everything around us changed.

The move stripped away distractions: The packed calendar. The easy comforts of nearby family. The autopilot routines. And in the absence of all that noise, we were able to reevaluate what really matters. We made a conscious decision:

• To live more simply.
• To focus on each other.
• To build a slower, more intentional life.

We remembered how to laugh. We had hard conversations. We sat close when things felt overwhelming. I remember nights sitting outside after the kids went to bed—drink in hand, staring at the fire, chatting about our day. Just enjoying the slow pace and the lack of distractions.

Our biggest take away from our slower pace of life was to run everything through the filter of:

1). Is this adding to or taking away from our life?

2). If it isn’t a “hell yeah”, it’s a no. 

It sounds bold, but it’s been freeing.
Because the truth is—so much of what we carry, we were never meant to.

We try to keep up. Bigger houses. Nicer cars. Cooler gadgets. Busier schedules.

And we convince ourselves this is just “normal life.” That filling our calendars with events and running ourselves ragged is just part of life and it’ll all get easier one day. The reality is that we were not designed to live life at that pace forever. It takes a toll on our marriages, children, and overall well-being. 

This past year has taught us: You don’t have to do it all. You just have to stay close to the people who matter most. You can choose slower. You can choose each other. And maybe, when everything else shifts, that’s when you find what was there all along.

The good news is that you don’t have to move your family into a camper to make these changes, as appealing as that may sound to you. 

You can start right where you are.

Clear the calendar.
For at least one evening a week have no plans and protect it like it’s the most important meeting of your life—because it is. What you do with your spouse (or family) during that time is up to you. Maybe it’s Friday night with pizza & a movie or a mid week game night. Connect with intention. 

Say no.
This may come as a shock but you don’t have to say yes to every invite or obligation that is presented to you. Say no to something you feel pressured to do, and yes to something that will actually restore you. 

Choose presence over multitasking.
We all have things to do. These screens have us addicted to that dopamine hit and we (as a society) often struggle with just having a simple conversation with someone. Put the phones down, set your eyes up, and have a heart open to connection. While your spouse makes dinner, chat it up instead of scrolling instagram. On the drive to church, hold hands and dream. Choose presence. 

Create your own mini adventure
A date with your spouse doesn’t have to be a grand event. Sitting near a backyard fire pit, a walk through the park, or a Saturday morning coffee on the porch are all great lowkey (and low budget) ways to carve out time for your relationship.

Revisit your rhythms
Look at your schedules and ask together, “Does this still serve us?” Maybe it’s time to step back from rec league sports, or cut out certain obligations. And remember: if it’s not a “hell yeah,” it’s a no.

You don’t need a new zip code to create a new pace.
You just need the courage to live with intention—and the commitment to choose each other, every single day.

Enjoy the adventure,

Amanda