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Somehow, we’ve reached the end of July—and I honestly have no clue where it went. The last few weeks have been packed: hosting friends and family, traveling, adjusting to new work schedules, and jumping back into homeschooling. By the end of each day, Michael and I have felt like two ships passing in the night.
I’ll be honest: intentional connection hasn’t exactly been top of mind. We’ve slipped into the “busy roommate” trap. So this post is both a reminder to you and me—a list of low-key ways to close the gap. Small, consistent actions can create a stronger, more connected marriage. Let’s make August the month of intentional connection and fun!
10 Little Things That Make a Big Difference:
Start the Day with Eye Contact and a Smile
Eye contact is crucial in deepening your emotional connection with your spouse. Sometimes I get up with Michael as he prepares for work, making him lunch and shuffling around the kitchen. While my eyes don’t want to be open just yet, I have been cherishing that time. Give it a try, in your own way! Instead of jumping straight into tasks or chaos, especially after a long day apart, take 10 seconds to see each other. Just a moment of quiet connection.
Send a Thoughtful Text Midday
We’re all busy, and sometimes the whole day slips by without a single check-in. Take a minute to send a thoughtful text—flirty, grateful, or just plain silly. Need help? Check out this Reel for a few ideas, and keep an eye on Instagram for more. A quick note in their car or lunchbox works too. These words of affirmation cards are helpful if you’re not sure what to say. But really, a few intentional words from your spouse can shift the entire tone of your day.
Touch More Often (Without an Agenda)
Being a stay-at-home mom is a full-time job—especially when you add homeschooling, managing a blog, side hustles, and squeezing in workouts. I am le tired. There was a time (and still are days) when I’d tense up at any form of physical touch, assuming it had to lead to sex. And when you’re exhausted, that pressure can feel overwhelming. (If that’s you, you’re not alone—I see you.) That’s why non-sexual physical touch matters so much. A hand on the back, a hug in the kitchen, your head on their shoulder while watching TV—those little moments build trust and emotional safety. They say, “I’m here. I still like you.” And that makes a big difference.
If you’re not sure where to start, check out our 7 Day course, Fan the Flame: Growing Closer Through Physical Touch. This challenge is perfect for couples in any season who want to fan the flame of affection, build emotional and physical intimacy, and enjoy the gift of connection—God’s way.
Say “Thank You” for the Mundane Things
“I noticed you did the dishes—thank you.” These little thank yous matter a lot over time. We all want to feel appreciated, even if it’s for something you do every single day. Take the time to call out how awesome your spouse is by thanking them for the little things, not just the big things.
Ask One Good Question a Day
Replace “how was your day?” with “What made you laugh today?” or “What’s been on your mind lately?” Honesty hour: This is a struggle for me. Not because I don’t want to chat with my husband, but simply because asking questions just doesn’t come naturally to me (maybe the curse of an introvert). If you’re in that boat, grab a card deck off of Amazon or download the Gottman Card Deck app. The Agape app is great, too! You and your spouse can both answer questions on the app or in person, creating memories to look back on.
Touch Base Before Bed (Even If You’re Tired)
When bedtime hits, I’m ready to zonk out. But a 2-minute check-in can be a nice point of connection at the end of the day. Asking, “How are you doing, really?” before scrolling or sleeping can communicate to your spouse “you matter to me, even when I’m tired.”
Write Notes—on Mirrors, in Lunchboxes, Anywhere
Similar to the midday text idea, but a little more creative. Writing notes is old-school, simple, and effective. I mean, I still have a ton of notes Michael wrote me when we were in high school and they are so cherished. Bonus points if it makes them laugh or feel seen.
Sit Next to Each Other During TV or Dinner
Michael is always the one to initiate this because it’s not my favorite, but I do recognize the difference it makes in our connection. It’s a subtle shift from coexisting to choosing closeness—even if you’re tired and watching reruns. We’re able to cuddle a little or playfully touch each other while talking.
Cheer Them On in Front of the Kids or Others
Speak well of your spouse behind their back—and to their face. I wrote about this in a previous blog, Reignite the Spark: 4 Ways to Cultivate Intimacy. The Bible instructs us to encourage one another and build each other up (1 Thessalonians 5:11), which definitely applies to your spouse. Use your words to encourage them, speak life into them, and let others know how awesome they really are.
Have One “No-Agenda” Date Night Each Week
No to-do lists. No kid talk. Just being together. This is often easier said than done, but carving out time for your marriage is a non-negotiable. Put it on the family calendar, add it to your planner, mark that space as “busy”. Check out our IG story every Friday for a few conversation starters! Our blog is also home to many a date night idea for a variety of budgets, time restraints, and effort levels.
All that to say…
Each of these actions may feel small on their own—but together, they weave the fabric of a deeply connected marriage.
Take a few intentional moments each day to invest in your legacy (schedule it if you have to). As we enter August, choose just 1–2 to focus on this week.
And if you’re ready to go deeper, check out our courses for couples who want more connection, more fun, and more growth—together.
Enjoy the adventure,
Amanda
The Making of Marriage 
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