The Making of Marriage

Despite it being incredibly hot outside for 3–5 months (and let’s be honest—if you’re in the Charleston, SC, area where we’re from, summer feels more like 7 months long), it still seems to be the season when we’re most active. We’re attending barbecues, catching up with friends, going on family trips, and soaking up every chance to make those core memories.

When I started planning the Summer of Love series, I wanted to focus on simple, meaningful ways we can stay connected to our spouse in the middle of all that summer busyness. And what better foundation than the Five Love Languages? They’re timeless—but with a little seasonal inspiration, they can also be timely.

So in this blog post we’re going to explore each of the five love languages through a summer lens—think sunshine-filled quality time, acts of service that beat the heat, physical touch that feels natural in the season, and so much more. Whether you’re newly married or decades in, these ideas are designed to help you love each other well right now, in this sunny, sometimes sweaty, memory-making season.

What’s Your Love Language? A Quick Refresher

The Five Love Languages, a concept coined by Dr. Gary Chapman, describe the different ways people give and receive love: 

• Words of affirmation
• Acts of service
• Quality time
• Physical touch
• Receiving gifts.

When I first heard about this idea, I was skeptical. It’s easy to look at that list and think, “Well, I like all of those!” And of course—most of us appreciate love in all five ways. But typically, there are one or two that speak to our heart the loudest.

The more I paid attention to what made me feel truly seen and cared for, the more I realized that quality time and acts of service fill my love tank the most. When I shared that with my husband, it gave us a shared language to show up for each other intentionally. That’s the beauty of the love languages—they help us not just love our spouse, but love them in a way that lands.

If you already know your spouse’s (and your own) primary love language(s), you’re already ahead of the game. Step one, check. If you don’t, you should. You can find many free Love Language quizzes online, or complete the paid quiz on the Love Languages website. If you want to learn even more, grab the book. Once that’s done, move on to Step two: Put it into practice.

Love in Action

How can you enjoy the summer sun and love your spouse well at the same time? Easy—just speak their love language with some seasonal flair. Let’s dive into five fun, simple ways to do just that.

Sweet Sayings & Sunshine: Words of Affirmation

Serve & Sizzle: Acts of Service

What it is:Acts of service is all about loving your spouse through serving them– doing something that helps or benefits the other person. This can look like taking on a task that alleviates stress for your spouse, without needing to be told and directed every step of the way. Running errands, completing home tasks, and just generally taking something off of their plate is how you speak this language. 

Why it matters:
Acts of service shows your partner that you care and are paying attention to their needs in a tangible way. Taking that initiative creates a level of trust and reliability, demonstrating that you can see your spouse and meet their needs, even if they don’t voice it. It might take a little asking (like, “How can I make this task easier for you?” or “Which of these tasks would be easiest for you to let go of?”) if you’re not used to doing this for your spouse, it will become second nature with practice!

Summer-specific ways to show it:

• Fill their water bottle and pack their towel for a beach day
• Grill their favorite meal without being asked
• Tidy the car before a summer road trip
• Set up the patio for a cozy evening hangout
• Take care of one of their usual chores so they can relax

Tan Lines & Time Together: Quality Time

What it is:
This love language’s focus is… focus. Literally. If this is your spouse’s primary love language, they feel most loved receiving love through dedicated, focused attention and meaningful interactions. This doesn’t necessarily mean big expensive grand gestures, but it does mean meaningful uninterrupted time together where your partner feels like (and hopefully is) the priority. 

Why it matters:
This focused time allows for meaningful conversations, authentic connection, and the ability to create lasting memories without distraction. Put down the phones and pick up a popsicle—summer is made for memory-making!

Summer-specific ways to show it: 

• Go for evening walks after the kids are in bed
• Plan a spontaneous ice cream date or picnic
• Visit a local farmer’s market together
• Watch a summer movie outside (drive-in or backyard projector)
• Try a “no phones” afternoon adventure — just the two of you

Close & Cozy: Physical Touch

What it is:
This love language is expressed through touch, but not just sexy time. People who receive love through physical touch are your cuddlers. But really, it’s more than that. These individuals feel a sense of security, love, and appreciation through physical touch. That may be hugs and kisses, but it also looks like holding hands, sitting close on the couch, love taps in the kitchen, and just finding any reason to be physically connected. 

Why it matters:
Speaking this love language for your spouse creates a sense of safety and security, as well as offering a comforting closeness and reassurance. This helps to release oxytocin, the “love hormone”, which only serves to increase feelings of closeness and intimacy. 

Summer-specific ways to show it: 

• Hold hands while walking through a park or festival
• Slow dance in the backyard under the stars
• Apply sunscreen or rub aloe on sun-kissed shoulders
• Snuggle under a shared towel after a swim
• Sit close and share a hammock or lounge chair

Thoughtful & Tangible: Receiving Gifts

What it is:
This love language is about feeling loved through tangible symbols of thoughtfulness. It’s not about extravagance—it’s about the message behind the gift: “I saw this and thought of you.” This is not my primary love language, but it’s definitely one I’ve had a hard time explaining to Michael. I don’t like extravagance and don’t feel the need to acquire stuff, but when he shows up with a drink from the gas station for me, it definitely adds to the love tank. 

Why it matters:
For someone with this love language, receiving a meaningful gift shows that they are valued, remembered, and prioritized. It’s not about price—it’s about thought. Even a favorite snack after a hot day says, ‘I’m thinking of you.’

Summer-specific ways to show it: 

• Surprise them with their favorite summer snack or drink
• Pick a wildflower bouquet or beach stone as a keepsake
• Buy matching summer mugs or tumblers
• Gift them a book or playlist for summer downtime
• Create a small “summer date kit” with treats and plans

Speaking a Language of Love

Knowing what you know now, how can you make this happen in your own marriage? Just start with a conversation. On your next date night or during your next Monthly Marriage Check In, ask each other, “What makes you feel most loved?” Learn about your spouse, ask for specific examples if you need. 

Remember that we often default to giving love in the way that we like to receive it, causing bids for connection to land flat. One person may be working tirelessly around the house, thinking they’re showing love—while their partner is wishing for more hugs or deeper conversations. It’s not wrong—it’s just mismatched. That’s why learning and practicing love languages matters. 

This summer, don’t just go through the motions and hope for better connection— love them with intention.

Your Summer Challenge 

Challenge yourself this week– learn your spouse’s love language and try at least one of the ideas from this post. Choose more than one and 

How are you loving each other well so far this summer season? 

Enjoy the adventure,

Amanda