The Making of Marriage

It’s easy to push the “date night weekly” idea when you have grandparents or a trusty babysitter to lean on. But what about when you don’t? 

Maybe you’re living a semi-nomadic lifestyle like we have been recently, traveling from city to city with little to no support outside of your camper walls. Maybe you’re a military family who just landed in a new place. Or maybe you simply don’t have the support of close friends or family in your own town. There are so many reasons that you might not have that village, but those should not be things that keep you from dating your spouse. 

Here are a few things that you can try to add in those weekly date nights, regardless of your village status. 

1). Mini dates! — Mini dates are great because they don’t take much time but you can optimize your connection knowing your time is limited. Grab a sweet treat on the way to get the kids from school or plan a lunch date to meet up with your spouse during the work day. 

2). Date night at home— After bed time dates are KEY to keeping that spark alive. Break away from the usual “movie on the couch” and plan a legit date. Cheeseboard and chatting, boardgames (or a video game challenge), a special meal, paint-and-sip… the opportunities are endless. Throw in a theme if you want to get a little fancy. 

3). Utilize events with childcare— if you are comfortable, check local gyms, churches, or rec centers that have Parents’ Night Out on their calendar. Our YMCA does this regularly— for a fee, they provide pizza, a craft, and play time with supervision from CPR certified staff. If the budget allows for it, take advantage of these opportunities! 

4). Swap childcare with another family— In the chance that you DO have a trusted friend who wouldn’t mind watching your child(ren) for a little bit, plan a swap! Coordinate with a trusted friend in a similar situation to take turns watching each other’s littles while the other couple gets a night out on the town. 

Bonus Option: Take advantage of the little moments— Number 1 was “mini dates”, and I would categorize this as a “micro date”. Maybe you really can’t afford to pay for additional childcare at all, or your work schedules make lunch time meet ups impossible. In this case, finding those small moments in every day life to connect with meaning will make a difference. Just a few moments of intentional intimate connection can impact your relationship. Michael and I were able to have an in depth conversation about aliens while hiking through the woods on a family hike. Look for opportunities to have stolen moments in the grocery story or in the backyard.

Lack of a village doesn’t mean you have to miss out on the joy and connection that comes with regular date nights. Whether it’s squeezing in a mini date, creating a memorable evening at home, or exploring creative childcare options, there are always ways to prioritize your marriage—even in less-than-ideal circumstances.

Remember, the key is intentionality. Making time for each other, even in the smallest of ways, can strengthen your bond and remind you why you chose to do life together. So, no matter your situation, take a moment this week to connect with your spouse and show that your relationship is worth the effort. After all, the best investment you can make is in each other. ❤️

-Amanda (& Michael)